The Classic White Button Down

I just got an e-mail from Brooks Brothers on their no-iron classic white button-down shirt. My husband swears by his Brooks Brothers no-iron shirts for work. They're washable so you end up saving money on dry cleaning or laundering.

What caught my eye about the e-mail was the link to a segment on the Today Show. What I liked about this segment is that it shows all these different ways to wear the white shirt. What I liked even more about it is most likely you can pull off at least one look by using items you already own.

Last year on Oprah they talked about 10 must-have wardrobe items and the white button down was amongst them. They even featured the Brooks Brothers one. So don't be surprised if you see me wearing a white button down quite often in the future.

Games People Play

I'm just coming off a vacation with my kids which meant playing a lot of games. I really like playing word games. Bogle is one of my favorite. Scrabble is good too, but it depends on who you're playing with. I'm very competitive and I'm discovering that my vocabulary is limited to the same small sample of words I use over and over. I could probably beat my kids...but that's not even a guarantee.

Recently we have discovered a great game that is perfect for traveling and is also something that 7 to 70 year olds can play together (we put this to the test.) It's called Bananagrams and consists of letter tiles similar to Scrabble that come in a banana shaped pouch. It's really helped my kids with spelling and vocabulary.

While in Florida my son received a backgammon game. I hadn't played that in years and forgot how much I liked it. It reminds me of shut-box because you are thinking in terms of numbers. Another game that helps kids with numbers is Yatzee.

Now I know not everyone likes board games. I think they were developed for people who like rules and order and don't do so well with free play. The line forms behind me.

Musings on Matrimony

I just heard on the radio that there were more divorces in Wisconsin last year than there were marriages. So what exactly does that say? I'm not sure, but I've been thinking about marriage in the context of some of the movies I've seen and the books I've read recently. I don't really have any enlightening insight, just some random observations.

In the movie Revolutionary Road Leonardo DiCaprio's character lives in a suburb and commutes to the city for his job. While in the city he carries on an affair with his secretary. So cliche, right? But it must have happened often enough for it to become cliche.

It may be difficult enough to get over the fact that your husband finds you so inadequate that he goes outside of the marriage, but what if he brought the other woman into your home to live and the relationship was out in the open?

Enter the concubine which used to be a common practice in Chinese culture. Marriages were arranged and the wives were expected to produce sons. Concubines may have joined the household if the wife did not give the husband what he wanted. In some cases the wife may have selected a concubine so she would at least have some control over who entered their household.

If you think that's an antiquated notion, look no further than the FDLS in Arizona where polygamist men have been accused of taking teenage brides. The wives and their children live together in compounds and it appears that the only education they get is dictated by the men.
Seems like a good deal for the guys. The women say they are doing God's will.

Since we're on the subject of God, it brings up the definition of marriage. Should it be defined exclusively between a man and a woman? If there is supposed to be a separation between church and state, is it fair to use a biblical definition of marriage to create law? Who ultimately gets to decide?

I surely don't have any answers. These are merely my musings.

Greetings from Florida

Jupiter Lighthouse

I've just returned from spring break in Vero Beach, Fla. where I took my kids to visit my parents. I've been going to Florida for spring break since at least 1974. My dad's parents retired to Jupiter, Fla. (home of the Burt Reynolds dinner theater and ranch.) They resided in a retirement community called Fisherman's Landing. My mom's parents went to visit and liked it so much that they moved into the same subdivision. This was great for visits with a family of 6. We'd find out what each grandma was making at mealtime and then ride the adult tricycle to whichever home sounded most appetizing.

I have such great memories of our trips there. Shuffleboard and bingo at the clubhouse, digging for sea urchins, the beach, free salad bar at the early bird special, and mostly spending time with my grandparents.

Eventually my parents started spending their winters in Florida. First in Jupiter, then West Palm Beach, and now Vero Beach. I've been fortunate enough to take my kids down there several times. I really enjoy introducing them to the things that I remember most about my vacations to the Sunshine State. This trip I was pleasantly surprised by some new discoveries.

Feeding nectar to a bird at Brevard Zoo

We went to the Brevard Zoo for the first time and found it to be a gem. It was an incredibly hands-on environment with a variety of animals from around the world. We were able to feed, pet, and get up close with some amazing creatures. On the way home from the zoo we saw our first armadillo wandering on the side of the road.

crab on the beach

In all the years I've been going to the beach, I've never seen a crab. This time we saw many in various stages of life. The side stepping, the eyes, the furry claws...an interesting speciman of ocean life. I was thrilled to see one up close.

Just this morning we saw a dolphin swimming in the Indian River near my parents house. We were in search of the manatee which managed to elude us during the entire trip. I've learned if we just exercise patience, we will be rewarded. One of these times we will see our manatee.

Hippety Hoppety

One of my biggest struggles as a parent is trying to relate to my kids in an age appropriate manner. I find that many times I see things through the eyes of a 42 year old woman and not that of a child.

So here it is, Easter Sunday, and I am completely perplexed by what happened last weekend at the Pick 'N Save. My son told me he knew the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny were me. My daughter was sitting right next to him when he said it. The other night at dinner I said, "So what are we going to do about the Easter Bunny this year?" They both responded, "What do you mean?" I answered, "What should we do about the baskets and eggs?" A bit dumbfounded they replied, "The Easter Bunny will hide them."

Yesterday my daughter asked me what the Tooth Fairy does with all the teeth she collects. I admitted that I never really thought about it. She's pretty sure she gives them to kids who are missing teeth.

I guess when you're a kid, in spite of your better judgement, it's much more fun to believe in magic. So for now...we believe. Happy Easter!

Adam Lambert Convert

Of all the years to have a hometown guy on American Idol! I've liked Danny Gokey since the beginning when I saw him audition. He's got a great voice and if he makes it to the final 3, AI may be in Milwaukee.

However, I am quickly becoming a huge Adam Lambert fan and I think he's in a league of his own. When I heard him sing Satisfaction and the judges were drooling over him I didn't get it. A bit too much high pitch screaming for my taste. But ever since then I have liked everything he has done. Even his crazy version of Johnny Cash's Ring of Fire is beginning to grow on me.

Last night may have been the clincher. Every so often a contestant will sing a song I really like and I get so excited only to be let down by their less than stellar renditions. The top 8 had to sing songs from the year they were born. Adam picked Tears for Fears Mad World from 1982 and since I've already blogged about this song, you can imagine my anticipation. He did not dissapoint.

The Jig is Up

It came to my attention, in aisle 5 of the Pick 'N Save on State Street, that my children believe that I am both the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny. I was told that my son saw me exchange his last tooth for a dollar. When I probed further to find out if this is something talked about openly with neighborhood or school friends, I didn't get any straight answers.

I find it ironic that I felt such disappointment with their declaration. It feels like just yesterday that I received the disappointing news myself. When I was in first or second grade, our family planned a trip to Florida for Christmas. After dinner one night, my parents decided that the whole family should get in the car and look at the Christmas lights. When we returned home our tree was lit and there were presents awaiting us underneath. Santa had left a note explaining that he came early since he knew we would be out of town. It was magical.

So when my next-door-neighbor who was three years my senior informed me that my parents were actually Santa, I felt very superior when I explained to her that it was impossible because my parents were in the car with me when Santa came to our house...so there! By the time I was in third grade we had moved and I remember the kids in my class talking openly and decisively about how Santa was a joke and it was just their parents. I figured it must be true and acted like I knew as well so I wouldn't be embarrassed in front of my new classmates.

While I remember how I learned about it, I don't remember how upset I was and for how long. I do know that I never told my parents that I was on to them. My mom finally sat me down at a fountain at Brookfield Square when I was a freshman in high school to talk about it. She figured I knew already and since I was the youngest, I think she was tired of carrying on the charade. I don't blame her.

I'm not tired of carrying on the charade yet, but I guess I'm due for a sit down with my two little ones. I need to make sure they are all right with their new found knowledge. Eventually I'll be alright with it too.

Lifelong Friends

Laotongs in China with bound feet

I just finished reading another book by Lisa See called Snow Flower and the Secret Fan. Once again set in China, this time taking place from 1823 - 1903. One of the main themes of this book was the lifelong arranged friendship between two girls starting from the time they were 6. It was a union that had as much ritual and circumstance as an arranged marriage and was made by a matchmaker.

Because the rules of arranged marriages did not allow girls to meet their future husbands until their wedding day, the emotional void was filled with special friendships with other females. Some girls were paired with laotongs or “old sames.” Though such pairings had the trappings of arranged marriages, the girls were allowed to build friendships that could last a lifetime. Not surprisingly, when the girls eventually married, they often enjoyed a stronger bond with their laotongs than they ever could with their husbands.

Jane & Elizabeth Bennet

When I was finished with the book I was flicking through the channels and Pride and Prejudice was on. The book by Jane Austen was published in 1813 and set in England. I began to think of the similarities between Lily (Snow Flower and the Secret Fan) and Elizabeth Bennet (Pride and Prejudice). Neither of them were seen as being worth as much as a man and both of their futures and that of their families depended upon on how well they married. Pride and Prejudice also has a strong theme of friendship among women. In Elizabeth Bennet's case her "laotong" may have been her sister Jane. Equally important was her friendship with Charlotte Lucas.

Charlotte, Carrie, Samantha, and Miranda

Speaking of Charlotte...fast forward to New York City, twenty-first century, Sex and the City. The reason so many women were infatuated with the show (fashion aside) was it's depiction of the friendship between women.

I think all women have their own "laotong", a lifelong friend who knows you better than you know yourself and loves you no matter what. Some of us may be lucky enough to have more than one.