Peonies and Cardinals

For those of you in a book club, I have just read a book that would be perfect to discuss. It's called Peony in Love by Lisa See and as my mother-in-law would say, it has many layers.

I'm not going to get into all the plots and characters and storyline here. If you want to know more about the book you can click above for the link to the author. What I found very intriguing was the subject of death and afterlife in 17th century China. In this book, how you were allowed to die, the way you were mourned, the manner in which you were buried, and how you were remembered had a lot to do with your gender, age, station in life, and marital status. The reason this was so important is because the person you were when you died directly correlated to what happened to you in the afterworld.

For example, one character in this book was a lovesick maiden (an engaged woman who starved herself to death before she was married.) At the time of her death she was inbetween two places...still living in her family's home, but promised to another family through an arranged marriage. Therefore when she died, she was not honored as an ancestor by having her ancestoral tablet dotted and put in a place of worship. This meant that in the afterworld she became a hungry ghost or someone who was not complete.

The Chinese were afraid that hungry ghosts would return to haunt them, so they would have an annual festival for the hungry ghosts in which they would make offerings of food and drink to satisfy their needs. There are also cases of ghost marriages between a spirit and a living being. This was another means of helping a spirit continue on its journey in the afterworld.

So the book touches on what the Chinese believe happens to a person once they die which is always an interesting topic. I have one good friend who believes that this is it. Once you die it's all over. This seems to work for her and she lives her life as if every minute should not be wasted. I, however, can't let go so easily. I can't imagine that those I've loved who have gone before me are not a part of my life now, nor will they be once I am gone.

Every year the Chinese have a way of honoring their ancestors and it's called Chinese New Year. For me, every so often I see a beautiful scarlet cardinal and I believe it's my Grandma Schmidt checking in on me. Most recently she appeared on a birdfeeder, outside the family room window at my in-laws, on my 42nd birthday.