Forever

Over spring break I took the kids to visit my mom in Florida. In one of the closets I discovered a book my niece had left there the week before. It was the Judy Blume teen classic, "Forever".

A few things about Judy Blume. As a young girl, I enjoyed her book, "Are You There God It's Me Margaret" which was a humorous look at puberty. However, as a mother I am still angry at her for ruining Christmas by causing my daughter to doubt the existence of Santa Claus in "Superfudge". So it's safe to say that Judy Blume's books can touch on subjects that are somewhat sensitive.

"Forever" is no different. For those of you not familiar with this book, it was big when I was in high school and is all about a high school girl who gets a boyfriend and loses her virginity. I was forbidden to read it by my mother. I don't know that she ever read it herself, but she heard about it from someone else and wouldn't let me read it. I'm not sure if my mom still forbids me to read it, but I did anyway. My first reaction was that my mom was right and that I would never let my daughter read it either. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that compared to what teenagers now are exposed to on television, music, school, movies, and other books they are reading, it's probably not that bad.

On the heels of my human growth and development breakthrough, I realize that once again, avoiding topics that are uncomfortable to talk about is not a good way to deal with your children. So, when the time comes, if my daughter wants to read the book and I think she is old enough, I will let her. It may actually provide an opportunity for us to have a good discussion.

Growth and Development

I can remember one day when my kids were little and we were playing in the back and I was having a rough time coping with them. My neighbor two doors down was in her backyard as well. She has three kids and at the time the two oldest were teenagers. I looked at her exasperated and I will never forget what she said to me. As a parenting veteran she said what I was going through was easier than I thought and I shouldn't get too worked up about it. She told me, "Bigger kids, bigger problems."

I think about that often as my kids are getting older. When you decide to have kids (or at least when I did) I never really had a solid plan for getting them through the eighteen years they would be living with me. So far, I've managed to avoid the areas I'm not good at, uncomfortable about, or completely unprepared for. However, I do realize that avoidance is really not a productive parenting method.

So, last week I was confronted with my first real test. I got the letter home from school announcing that my son will be starting his human growth and development program at the beginning of May. Ugh!

I have just returned from the library with all sorts of books about puberty, the growing body, and (gulp) sex organs. Is it just me, or is everyone completely uncomfortable talking about this with their kids? (I suppose it's no less uncomfortable than to be on the kids' end of the discussion.)

One author writes about teaching a puberty class and in order to help minimize the laughter and snickering, she encourages the students to yell out the slang terms for sex organs which she lists on the blackboard. Is it a bad sign that there are slang terms on the list that I have never heard of?

So my plan is to brush up on my slang, and all other matters that pertain to human growth and development. Maybe that will help lessen the embarrassment for both parties as we embark upon the discussions that are ahead of us. Wish me luck!