In the Hearth

Kitchen remodel inspiration photo

The other night my husband and I had a really great conversation about our son. Both of us were concerned with the change in his behavior as of late and were trying to figure out the root of the problem.

Our kids are both involved in a lot of sports and other activities. To keep involved in their lives and spend time with them, we both volunteer. My husband is a truly gifted coach and so he coaches soccer, baseball, and basketball. I mostly volunteer at school.

What we came to realize is that while we spend a lot of time with our kids at practices and games and at school...it's not necessarily the type of connection they crave. We realized that we may have neglected the quality one on one time.

To put it to the test, this week when my son asked my husband to come sit in his room, he did. My husband sat in the rocking chair while my son shot baskets...the whole time talking to his dad about everything that was on his mind. My husband sat listening, not saying a word.

Wow. What a novel concept. Apparently it doesn't take much to connect with our kids...just our time and attention. So we were discussing it last night when the kids were in bed and how we really have to make a conscious effort...especially while they are still interested in spending time with us.

In thinking about the future of our family, we have decided to remodel our kitchen this spring to open up the wall between the kitchen and dining room to make it a larger usable space. Part of the reasoning is that as the kids get older, they can be at the dining room table doing homework while I'm getting dinner ready and we can still be together keeping tabs on each other.

If there was ever any doubt that this was a good idea, all my husband had to do was pull out a poem his mother wrote and shared with him a couple of years ago:

Stay in the kitchen

That's where the action is
said my friend, the mother of teens And so I did

Well past midnight
I baked cookies
filled the crock pot
cleaned the refrigerator
scrubbed pots
clipped coupons
polished silver

A middle aged Cinderella
staying close to the hearth
I tended the fire
Listened to my children

And while they slept
I sifted the ashes